Slop Head Basketball

How it plays

• The rim is deliberately out of jumping range. A normal jump does not reach it. Every basket runs through the springboards, so the whole game becomes about getting to one in time.
• Springboards have no button. The wedges at the base of each post fire when you land on one while falling fast enough, then take about three seconds to recharge.
• You swing a hand, not a boot. The racket rests up behind the head and slaps down and forward, so a return carries about twice what a swing into the ball does.
• The hoop is real geometry. Two rim boxes and a support post do all the caroms and the net is only paint, which is why balls drop in sideways, backwards and from above.
• Two points, or three from your own half. The half court line decides it, not a drawn arc, and the value locks at the moment your hand meets the ball.
• Seventeen power-ups in three colors. Green helps whoever touched last, red punishes them, and yellow changes the ball itself. One of them drops a meatball streaker onto the court as a real third body.

The clock

The clock doesn't start at tip off, it arms on your first real touch. At zero, a shot that has already left your hand and is still airborne and hoop bound stays live, so horn shots count. Tied at the buzzer goes to sudden death with no second clock: next basket wins.

Modes

🏆 Slop Ladder: ten rounds, eleven heads, one champion. Every rung is faster and sharper than the last, and each one has its own court furniture. Round ten plays under a single enormous circle hanging over center court.

📅 Daily match: one shared fixture a day. Only your first run ranks, the rest are practice.

🟢 Quick match (mild): the rival is quick but human.

🔴 Quick match (extreme): the rival predicts your next touch.

☠️ Quick match (impossible): the rival searches for what can beat it.

🛋️ Couch duel: two players, one keyboard. P1 on A/D/W plus Space, P2 on the arrows plus P. Pick a timed minute or first to 15, on any of the ten courts.

⚔️ Duel online: a real rival, live. Quick match a stranger or hand out a four character room code.

Scoring

Every point is worth 500, so a two banks 1,000 and a three banks 1,500. Winning adds 3,000, and winning without conceding adds another 1,500. The ceiling is 28,500: a sixteen basket shutout with every single one taken from your own half.

Only matches against the CPU reach the leaderboard. Couch duels and online duels submit nothing, because a score you can arrange with a friend is not a real score.

Also in there

Eleven playable heads, all cosmetic. Eighteen achievements, including Nothing but Net, Goaltending, Wrong Ball and Dunk.